❝ Those ghosts may be made of coconut curry Doritos! I can’t eat them! ❞
-Fortunatus Dobbs the mage. (via outofcontextdnd)
I read this and I was like “how the fuck did they come up with coconut curry doritos that’s so random” but then I look it up and COCONUT CURRY DORITOS ARE A REAL THING AND I NEED THEM IN MY FACE ASAP IF YOU LIVE SOMEWHERE WHERE THESE ARE MADE I WILL SERIOUSLY PAY YOU TO MAIL THEM TO ME I S2G
DID YOU GUYS KNOW JENGA MADE A NEW VERSION OF THEIR GAME, BUT INSTEAD OF STRAIGHT BORING WOODEN ONES, ITS TETRIS PIECES
THATS RIGHT, ITS MOTHER FUCKING TETRIS JENGA
THE TWO OF THE MOST STRESSFUL GOD DAMNED GAMES WE PLAYED AS CHILDREN ROLLED INTO ONE
okay so I need this and I need to bring it to my tabletop game because my character is a crazy genius hacker and it’s a running joke that she is always playing 3-D tetris and thAT ACTUALLY EXISTS AND IT EXISTS IN PHYSICAL FORM GIVE IT TO ME
ok so i tried to do this
AND LOOK WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED
Its like midnight but I cant stop laughing help
YEAH THATS A BRILLIANT IDEA UNTIL YOU REMEMBER THAT TOASTERS F UCKING EJECT THEIR PRECIOUS CARGO ONTO THE VOID OF DESPAIR THAT IS YOUR NASTY RATCHET ASS KITCHENETTE FLOOR
GUYS I JUST DID THIS AND MY TOASTER SET ON FIRE
AHAHAHAHAHA I’M LAUGHING SO HARD AT ALL YOU FUCKIN NOOBS WHO ARE USING A TOASTER INSTEAD OF A TOASTER OVEN Y’ALL GET WHAT YOU DESERVE FOR USIN A JANKY-ASS SINGLE-FUNCTION APPLIANCE
When your girlfriend gets into the shower on cold winter mornings, put a clean towel in the dryer. When you hear the water turn off, grab the towel from the dryer and bring it to her. She’ll smile. Guaranteed.
Little things, you guys. Little things.
karlie is a genius
If my boyfriend did that I’d suck his dick so hard he’d swallow his eyeballs.
he’d swallow his eyeballs.
#dude #the way to my heart
bringing you a fluffy towel or sucking your dick so hard you swallow your eyeballs
Literature Is Dead (According to Straight, White Guys, At Least)
Every few months, a new “Literature is Dead/Dying” think piece crops up in high-profile media. Perhaps you’ve noticed. As a book nerd, I certainly have, though they’ve begun to bleed together: Their diagnoses of literature’s ills tend to be eerily similar.
I’ve suspected for a while that these essays, as a category, might somehow be rooted in declining privilege: Literature has never been a majority interest in America, so I’ve wondered if these writers might be projecting some kind of status insecurity onto literature. Still, until recently I’d never thought to look at the identities of the authors before. And I certainly never thought I’d discover that every last author whose work I had read on the subject would be a white male—or that all but one was straight.
Read more. [Image: Wikimedia; Mark Edmundson]
#points and laughs #points and laughs some more #MAKE WAY MOTHERFUCKIZ #I’m so excited about this #like yeah dude #y’all have been writing the same book for hundreds upon hundreds of years #no shit there’s a ‘weak demand for [your so-called] ‘serious books” #no shit we have no interest in you anymore #no shit we’re looking to female / queer / poc / etc authors for a fresh perspective #go cry you big overprivileged babies #scribble some more arrogant freudian shit that no one wants to read #(except more straight white dudes with an overinflated sense of their own importance) #(sure straight white guys can produce fabulous writing that I love but they’re usually the ones who aren’t up their own asses) #(your david foster wallaces and bret easton ellises can go fuck themselves the boring arrogant pricks)
So much all these comments. It’s ongoing save the white cis het dude ivory tower academics! Endangered species.
I just had this conversation with a straight white dude a few days ago. Imagine his shock when I rattled off the names of a good half dozen authors of color who are writing amazing things and winning awards for it. He actually started Googling them in front of me like I was lying to him. He got even madder when he realized that two of them were published by houses that have rejected him. Often. I pointed out that if he tried reading things written by people who aren’t just like him, his writing might improve, but I don’t think he got it.
literature isn’t dying, your boring samey old shit is dying and making way for new things of quality.
*Eagerly scribbles away at his novel to increase neurodivergent literary representation*
ahhh, yes, the White Man Tears, they sustain me *drinks deeply*
jeez i would love to order that thing online, but i don’t know what size to order it in because women’s clothing sizes are determined by the alignments of the planets in relation to the fuck you galaxy
John Hurt’s Doctor wearing 9’s jacket with 8’s clothes underneath
sweet mother of pearl.
I really like this. I have the feeling it will be the only thing I do like about this Moffat shit-show, when I finally steel myself to watch it.
totalitarian dystopian future lit is like “what if the government got so powerful that all the bad stuff that’s already happening ALSO HAPPENED TO WHITE PEOPLE?”
How to use “and” 5 times in a row grammatically:
A man owned a store called “This And That” and hired another man to make a sign for it. When it was finished the owner inspected the work. He discovered that the spaces were wrong so he said “the space between This and And and And and That is different. Please fix it”
❝ …trolling used to be pretty funny and almost entirely harmless. Trolling, despite the modern usage, does not mean “the act of pissing somebody off and laughing about their anger.” It is “the act of pissing somebody off BASED ON SOMETHING COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS and laughing about their MISPLACED anger.” It isn’t considered trolling to leave a comment full of racial epithets and laugh when people “don’t get it.” It is trolling if you leave a comment insisting on the wrong information about something irrelevant – how many runes are on a Stargate, for example (everybody knows its 12) – and wait for the ONE guy that just can’t let the transgression pass. If you start a fake fight with Prof. Stargate, dragging him deeper and deeper until hopefully, finally, even he has to stop and think “wait a minute, this is ridiculous,” that is trolling. That’s the difference: No actual harm is caused, and even the victim can eventually get in on the joke. “Trolling” isn’t referring to hiding behind a fortification and trying to hurt people like the mythical creature. It’s referring to the style of fishing – you drag bait across the bottom hoping to get a rare bite. It’s not ‘bait’ if you’re earnestly spouting your misogynistic beliefs and somebody gets upset. There’s nothing funny about entirely justified anger. ❞
Robert Brockway, http://www.robertbrockway.net/2013/07/18/its-not-a-game-if-you-cant-lose/ (via pelikinesis)
"In short: If you wouldn’t say it to The Rock in a dark alley, don’t say it to another human being on the internet."
I think I’ve reblogged this on my SRS blog before, but I have to reblog it here too for: “If you wouldn’t say it to The Rock in a dark alley, don’t say it to another human being on the internet” which may be the best life advice I have ever heard